Remembering my father: Antion Vikram Singh Meredith (Vic Briggs) 1945-2021
It is obvious that your father leaves a lasting legacy and he touched so many people through his life’s work and performances. I feel blessed to have spent an evening several years ago celebrating your shared birthdays and listening to his stories. His spirit shines on in you and Siri, and I am grateful to him for creating one of my dearest and most trusted friends. On June 30, 2021, in New Zealand, colon cancer took my father’s life. I’ve been through some difficult times in my lifetime, but I can honestly say that the shock and stress of this situation was unlike any I had ever known. You never…
An (extra)ordinary Father’s Day
Last summer, as I sat there one day at my dining table (AKA my office) I could hear my parents in my kitchen making themselves lunch. It was just another day out of the five weeks they stayed with us, visiting from New Zealand. I could hear the low hum of their casual conversation and the sounds of their food preparation and cooking, nothing special. But something on that random day caused me to pause, get fully present, and take it in. I felt a deep poignant blend of love, nostalgia and memory. I knew, even then, I would forever remember that moment of comfort and familiarity and stability that…
Make Every Holiday Moment Count
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” ― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities If this sounds like Pandemic Holiday Season 2020 (or all of 2020,) I could not agree more! But it also reminds me so much of Husband Dying of Cancer Holiday Season 2013. As I wrote shortly after this crisis started, there are…
A Tale of Two Widows
The other day I was scrolling Facebook when I came across a post that knocked the breath out of me. My neighbor Amy had unexpectedly lost her husband a few days previously. I was in shock and disbelief. It’s one of those things that you hear about and can’t believe it; that your brain struggles to make sense of before eventually giving up because it simply cannot process how this could ever happen. I met Amy at a neighborhood get together shortly after we moved into the neighborhood. She and I hit it off. She immediately and warmly reached out to me repeatedly, making me feel so included, something I…
Contemplating What Could Have Been
Because yesterday was my parents 47th wedding anniversary and today is Mother’s Day, this weekend would be celebratory regardless. But this year in particular it is truly something to appreciate. My mother—my healthy, vibrant, active, vegetarian, teetotaling, slender, yoga-teaching, meditating, dear mother—had a heart attack five weeks ago. When my father Skyped me at 10:30pm EST, I knew something was wrong. He informed me that my mother was in the hospital and they were testing her for possible cardiac issues based on the initial EKG readings. Both of my parents were convinced it was a severe case of gastro-intestinal distress. But after several days of feeling terrible with what she…
Every Year I Forget My Own Anniversary
Dan and I were married on March 4, 2008. The ceremony was performed in a limousine driving up and down the Las Vegas Strip (yes, it all happened seated inside the limo.) Nick and Amanda, Dan’s adult children, were the only guests. It was absolutely perfect!! But since I lost Dan, I have never remembered, on March 4, that my wedding anniversary is on March 4. The only exception is during that first year of grieving, where I went out to dinner with a friend that evening, and in a lovely surprise gesture, another friend called up the restaurant and paid for it. It is a good memory, my friends…
Living On Through Social Media
I was scrolling through my Facebook friend list looking for someone, when I realized that I have four Facebook friends that are deceased yet their accounts are still active. Dan, my late husband, has one of those active accounts. I can’t bring myself to close his account. We talked about it, a discussion triggered by a fascinating article in Reader’s Digest (one guy lost his wife in childbirth and literally closed her account as soon as he got home from the hospital!) I could never do that, but everyone is different. I asked Dan, and he said yes, he did want me to close his account if something happened to…
Moving Forward, Not Moving On
“Are you ready to taste wine?” asked Bill Frick, owner of Frick Winery. Frick Winery is a boutique winery in Dry Creek Valley, near Sonoma, California, and my favorite winery. I had insisted we visit it on our one day wine-tasting trip back in March. “Yes!” the four of us chorused. He placed three tasting glasses on the counter, and then he said, “I have a special glass for Pritam.” He placed another glass on the counter. I glanced at it, and noticed a telltale small black bag from Edmonds’ Comstock Jewelers inside of it. In an instant, I knew what was about to happen and I started freaking out.…
Dan’s Divot Tool
There’s this tool used in golf called a divot tool. You carry it in your pocket. When your ball lands on the green, it will often leave an indentation called a ball mark in the carefully groomed grass of the green. It’s good golf etiquette to find and fix your ball mark as soon as you reach the green. My ball hardly ever lands on the green so I don’t fix many divots. But the first thing I put in my pocket when I go golfing is a well-used, scuffed, burnished divot tool. You see, it belonged to my late husband, Dan Potts, and he loved that thing (and he…
The Healing Table
It was a Friday morning and I woke up alone. My beloved husband had passed away the afternoon before at the University of Washington Medical Center and the friend who had spent Thursday night with me left for work before I awoke. My clients were canceled, and it was the first day of the rest of my new life that I didn’t ask for and certainly didn’t want. I didn’t know what to do. The house was so silent, empty and awfully lonely. I am not surprised that as I have always done in times of stress and turmoil, I turned to exercise. I left the house and started walking…
