A New Year’s Note
There’s a collective energy in the air at this time of year. Wafting all around us are feelings of freshness, motivation, potential for change, new opportunities, and chances to make ourselves and our lives better, promoted and perpetuated by newspapers, magazines, books, social media, our friends and family, and of course, ourselves. I’m a sucker for it, as I think most of us are. I love starting fresh in the New Year! Usually, we fall back on New Year’s resolutions which don’t tend to lead to lasting change (to which I can definitely attest.) In fact, nine years ago in my very first column for My Edmonds News, I suggested…
Remembering my father: Antion Vikram Singh Meredith (Vic Briggs) 1945-2021
It is obvious that your father leaves a lasting legacy and he touched so many people through his life’s work and performances. I feel blessed to have spent an evening several years ago celebrating your shared birthdays and listening to his stories. His spirit shines on in you and Siri, and I am grateful to him for creating one of my dearest and most trusted friends. On June 30, 2021, in New Zealand, colon cancer took my father’s life. I’ve been through some difficult times in my lifetime, but I can honestly say that the shock and stress of this situation was unlike any I had ever known. You never…
The Measure Of My Mother
As a daughter, there were always three sure things in my life. Death, taxes and the deep, passionate love my parents have always had for each other. So it seems fitting that every year my parents’ May 11th wedding anniversary occurs near Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Because from my perspective, they are who they are as individuals and parents, then and now, because of their love, their commitment, their devotion to, and their bond with each other, first and foremost. Although their marriage has not always been easy, their love transcended all circumstances and has always been the solid foundation of our family dynamic. But this year, my mother…
An (extra)ordinary Father’s Day
Last summer, as I sat there one day at my dining table (AKA my office) I could hear my parents in my kitchen making themselves lunch. It was just another day out of the five weeks they stayed with us, visiting from New Zealand. I could hear the low hum of their casual conversation and the sounds of their food preparation and cooking, nothing special. But something on that random day caused me to pause, get fully present, and take it in. I felt a deep poignant blend of love, nostalgia and memory. I knew, even then, I would forever remember that moment of comfort and familiarity and stability that…
Make Every Holiday Moment Count
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” ― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities If this sounds like Pandemic Holiday Season 2020 (or all of 2020,) I could not agree more! But it also reminds me so much of Husband Dying of Cancer Holiday Season 2013. As I wrote shortly after this crisis started, there are…
A Tale of Two Widows
The other day I was scrolling Facebook when I came across a post that knocked the breath out of me. My neighbor Amy had unexpectedly lost her husband a few days previously. I was in shock and disbelief. It’s one of those things that you hear about and can’t believe it; that your brain struggles to make sense of before eventually giving up because it simply cannot process how this could ever happen. I met Amy at a neighborhood get together shortly after we moved into the neighborhood. She and I hit it off. She immediately and warmly reached out to me repeatedly, making me feel so included, something I…
The Hug
Today is the 6th anniversary of the day my late husband Dan’s life was taken by prostate cancer. He has now been gone longer than we were married. I knew this day was coming as time relentlessly marches on, but it doesn’t sit well with me. ❤️ We had to go through so much to be together and when we were together we went through so much. It was worth everything. ❤️ Our last full-on hug, like this hug, was in the ICU with Dan’s kids standing on either side of him to support him so we could put our arms around each other. I am so grateful for that…
Every Year I Forget My Own Anniversary
Dan and I were married on March 4, 2008. The ceremony was performed in a limousine driving up and down the Las Vegas Strip (yes, it all happened seated inside the limo.) Nick and Amanda, Dan’s adult children, were the only guests. It was absolutely perfect!! But since I lost Dan, I have never remembered, on March 4, that my wedding anniversary is on March 4. The only exception is during that first year of grieving, where I went out to dinner with a friend that evening, and in a lovely surprise gesture, another friend called up the restaurant and paid for it. It is a good memory, my friends…
Dan’s Last Texts
I do not understand how it’s been five years since Dan died. My first thought is that somehow, I don’t know how, I have managed to survive for five years without him. After that, I think, I don’t know how I got through the pain, but I did because I am here. Then I realize that not only did I survive, I have thrived. Yes, I have suffered terrible sadness and loneliness and unbearable grief, but I have also been very happy, and deeply loved, and unconditionally supported by so many wonderful people. But even five years later, I still can’t make sense of the dichotomy of these circumstances. I…
The Most Stressful Time Of The Year
The fact is, the holidays are very stressful. Even if you don’t manifest your stress in illness, like I apparently do, it can be an overwhelming time for so many of us. It never hurts any of us to minimize stress regardless. Here’s my plan, it’s not too late to join me!
