Dan’s Last Texts
I do not understand how it’s been five years since Dan died. My first thought is that somehow, I don’t know how, I have managed to survive for five years without him. After that, I think, I don’t know how I got through the pain, but I did because I am here. Then I realize that not only did I survive, I have thrived. Yes, I have suffered terrible sadness and loneliness and unbearable grief, but I have also been very happy, and deeply loved, and unconditionally supported by so many wonderful people. But even five years later, I still can’t make sense of the dichotomy of these circumstances. I…
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The Most Stressful Time Of The Year
The fact is, the holidays are very stressful. Even if you don’t manifest your stress in illness, like I apparently do, it can be an overwhelming time for so many of us. It never hurts any of us to minimize stress regardless. Here’s my plan, it’s not too late to join me!
The Last Athlete
There’s a young man who holds the distinction of being the Last Athlete to work with Coach Dan Potts. I still remember the first day I sat in the living room with you and Dan, glove in hand, not knowing what to expect that day let alone the years to come. His name is Lukas. He was a tiny little thing, just on the verge of turning fourteen, when and he and his mom came in for a consultation four years ago. His dedication and commitment to baseball was apparent. Those first few sessions in the garage were the first time I had really ever learned to push myself. My…
Living On Through Social Media
I was scrolling through my Facebook friend list looking for someone, when I realized that I have four Facebook friends that are deceased yet their accounts are still active. Dan, my late husband, has one of those active accounts. I can’t bring myself to close his account. We talked about it, a discussion triggered by a fascinating article in Reader’s Digest (one guy lost his wife in childbirth and literally closed her account as soon as he got home from the hospital!) I could never do that, but everyone is different. I asked Dan, and he said yes, he did want me to close his account if something happened to…
Moving Forward, Not Moving On
“Are you ready to taste wine?” asked Bill Frick, owner of Frick Winery. Frick Winery is a boutique winery in Dry Creek Valley, near Sonoma, California, and my favorite winery. I had insisted we visit it on our one day wine-tasting trip back in March. “Yes!” the four of us chorused. He placed three tasting glasses on the counter, and then he said, “I have a special glass for Pritam.” He placed another glass on the counter. I glanced at it, and noticed a telltale small black bag from Edmonds’ Comstock Jewelers inside of it. In an instant, I knew what was about to happen and I started freaking out.…
The Value of Quick Emergency Response
Call the aid car, babe When Dan Potts says call the aid car, you call the aid car. I called 911 right away. At that point we were six months from me calling 911 for the second time, an ambulance ride from which he was not to return home. But we didn’t know that. All I knew that day, as his wife, was that he was lying there in enough pain to ask for help. Dan Potts was the proudest and strongest person I’ve ever known, and he never needed—or asked—for help. But today he did.
Dan’s Divot Tool
There’s this tool used in golf called a divot tool. You carry it in your pocket. When your ball lands on the green, it will often leave an indentation called a ball mark in the carefully groomed grass of the green. It’s good golf etiquette to find and fix your ball mark as soon as you reach the green. My ball hardly ever lands on the green so I don’t fix many divots. But the first thing I put in my pocket when I go golfing is a well-used, scuffed, burnished divot tool. You see, it belonged to my late husband, Dan Potts, and he loved that thing (and he…
Reflections on Loss
I questioned myself as to whether I ought to write yet more about this topic, for a column titled “Edmonds Fitness Corner.” After two years, people might be wondering, is she ever going to get over it? But really, the answer is no. It just doesn’t work like that. I have adapted, changed, grown, learned to manage the most unpleasant of feelings, but there will never be closure. After two years I’m sensing a pattern—that this part of each year will be the most difficult for me regarding my husband’s death. The holidays are stressful enough for most of us, but are even more poignant with the loss of a…
Practicing Thankfulness
As the hustle and bustle of the holiday season kicks into full gear, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and stressed out and eat and drink too much. This is normally a great topic to write about at this time of year. But in the wake of the events in Paris last Friday it seems pretty meaningless. I am reminded at times like this (particularly with Thanksgiving almost upon us) how much we have to be thankful for and how easy it is to lose sight of that just living our lives. There is so much to be grateful for! If you are reading this on a tablet, smartphone or computer…
Life’s Second Chances
“The afternoon knows what the morning never expected.”—Robert Frost About three weeks after Dan died, I went down the FIVE Restaurant, one of my “safe” places. I met this woman there, with whom I shared my story over (several) glasses of wine. I’ll never forget, she looked at me and said, “You’ve known a great love. You’ll know another.” I couldn’t even imagine it, at that time. All I wanted was Dan Potts back, alive and well. It was the worst and most painful experience of my life grieving the death of my husband. And I was hurting. Bad. I knew somehow people had survived this so I thought I…
