The Hug
Today is the 6th anniversary of the day my late husband Dan’s life was taken by prostate cancer. He has now been gone longer than we were married. I knew this day was coming as time relentlessly marches on, but it doesn’t sit well with me. ❤️ We had to go through so much to be together and when we were together we went through so much. It was worth everything. ❤️ Our last full-on hug, like this hug, was in the ICU with Dan’s kids standing on either side of him to support him so we could put our arms around each other. I am so grateful for that…
An Edmonds Kind of Homecoming
Years ago, the man I fell in love with lived in—and loved—Edmonds. So I moved here, a place I only knew previously as the home of the Kingston ferry. In time, Edmonds and I forged our own connection that I could not have predicted or expected. This sweet city stole my heart. It became my home. When we moved to Texas almost two years ago, it almost broke my heart. Me and my stuff left, but my house stayed here, my gym stayed here, and my people stayed here. And a huge piece of my heart stayed here. Because it was my home. Some say you can’t go home again.…
Contemplating What Could Have Been
Because yesterday was my parents 47th wedding anniversary and today is Mother’s Day, this weekend would be celebratory regardless. But this year in particular it is truly something to appreciate. My mother—my healthy, vibrant, active, vegetarian, teetotaling, slender, yoga-teaching, meditating, dear mother—had a heart attack five weeks ago. When my father Skyped me at 10:30pm EST, I knew something was wrong. He informed me that my mother was in the hospital and they were testing her for possible cardiac issues based on the initial EKG readings. Both of my parents were convinced it was a severe case of gastro-intestinal distress. But after several days of feeling terrible with what she…
Epic Eric
Last week my husband Eric shot a 69 at the Texas Rangers Golf Club. It had been many years since he broke 70, and never in the time that I have known him. If you aren’t familiar with golf, just know this is a rare score for most amateur golfers, even for those as skilled as Eric. Although his personal best is a 66, this score is . . . Epic! This is to be celebrated! But knowing him, I can count on one hand the number of people he shared it with, including me. He is not on social media and I’m not sure he would tell anyone at…
Every Year I Forget My Own Anniversary
Dan and I were married on March 4, 2008. The ceremony was performed in a limousine driving up and down the Las Vegas Strip (yes, it all happened seated inside the limo.) Nick and Amanda, Dan’s adult children, were the only guests. It was absolutely perfect!! But since I lost Dan, I have never remembered, on March 4, that my wedding anniversary is on March 4. The only exception is during that first year of grieving, where I went out to dinner with a friend that evening, and in a lovely surprise gesture, another friend called up the restaurant and paid for it. It is a good memory, my friends…
When Indoor Cycling Becomes A Community
Years ago, I heard a reverend say to her parishioners, “If you can’t find the faith you need then you can borrow it from me.” Similarly, in my role as a strength coach and trainer, I provided energy and motivation to my clients that they may not have been able to find within themselves 100% of the time. But last year, as I struggled to make sense of my new life after relocating to Texas, I wondered who—or what—would provide me with the motivation that I was unable to find anywhere within myself. Isolated in a new location, limited by an ongoing painful foot treatment that prevented me from walking,…
The European Family Vacation Survival Guide
In 2004, I traveled to Denmark, England and Ireland with my sister, mother and grandmother to visit various relatives on both sides of the family. I envisioned it as a way of reconnecting with our European family and discovering our Danish roots — 3-1/2 weeks of hanging out, catching up and having lots of fun. It wasn’t. Instead, what I hadn’t realized was this: Now that I am an adult, this no longer qualified as a family vacation, because a family vacation is not really a vacation unless you are under the age of 18. Consider using the following tips and reminders for your next family vacation — they just…
Dan’s Last Texts
I do not understand how it’s been five years since Dan died. My first thought is that somehow, I don’t know how, I have managed to survive for five years without him. After that, I think, I don’t know how I got through the pain, but I did because I am here. Then I realize that not only did I survive, I have thrived. Yes, I have suffered terrible sadness and loneliness and unbearable grief, but I have also been very happy, and deeply loved, and unconditionally supported by so many wonderful people. But even five years later, I still can’t make sense of the dichotomy of these circumstances. I…
The Most Stressful Time Of The Year
The fact is, the holidays are very stressful. Even if you don’t manifest your stress in illness, like I apparently do, it can be an overwhelming time for so many of us. It never hurts any of us to minimize stress regardless. Here’s my plan, it’s not too late to join me!
Instant Pot Tips for Beginners
Recently I’ve seen a lot of posts by people underwhelmed or overwhelmed by the Instant Pot which is a bummer because it’s an incredible device. Although I am most definitely still a beginning user, I’m hoping I can help a few newbies with some things that I wish I had known when I got my Instant Pot!
